so ive neglected to update for a month or so;

my thoughts never complete enough for the standards of a sentence.
but i try. my head doesn't correct grammatical errors, but it sure can turn around and backstab my perception.

and you become my muse. but every negative action, you seem to give a part of yourself as an excuse.

what can i do? i don't know what to do.

you can watch. you can be a personal audience, see what ive created from you.
as i fall deeper into the red of my thoughts.
and you can shout at me, from a substantial distance: watch out! be careful!
but your words are muffled under my own.
they eat yours and it feeds the guilt of it all.

i will take this guilt, and i will contort it into something hideous. and when it covers me, it will glaze over my eyes.
your clue into my thoughts
your only way into my head,
wasting away.