you wear the finest armor i've ever seen
deflecting depression, sheilding sadness
i wish i had your secret, i wish it
was in front of me, in a box so i could
maybe keep mine, too.
wanna know my secret?
maybe the world was perfect
when we met, i still believe i flew
the sky was never so blue we were
perfect, true + strong.
i believed. i believed that you were
my soulmate, the real true love i
thought i never could embrace, call mine.
my secret is i believed in your lies.
my secret is when you told me you loved me,
i loved back.

but what is there now?
you are still wearing your armor,
and using it well, breaking
someone's heart. she is still
down, yeah maybe i am too.

my secret is your letter's
in a little box wrapped
and kept in a drawer full of old things.
it wasnt easy to realize youre now part of that collection.

i havent touched it since the day
i put it away, the day you put
our love away. thats how i see it.

maybe you've tucked our love
away, keeping it somewhere in hopes
that maybe you'd want it back.

maybe someday, we'll both find ourselves
searching through drawers + empty pockets
or maybe,love,it will rot somewhere.
alone.

(it took me five months to write about you)